Real dating rules for women
"You want to be open and honest and not act as though your history is a taboo subject," says Dr. A better rule: "Think of talking about a past relationship as a way to communicate what you want out of a new relationship," says Dr. Just save certain insights––such as how you learned that you prefer a man who loves his family, which your ex did not––for when you're ready to take your relationship to the next level.
Photo: i Stockphoto The reason this rule gained traction is that making strong views known used to be seen as unladylike.
In the past, you may have been told to keep your desire to have children, for example, under wraps out of fear that you might scare away a guy who isn't quite ready to settle down yet.
Following this rule is, in addition to being outdated, dishonest and disingenuous.
According to the singles whom Allen has encountered, boomers generally play by far different dating rules than young, 20-something daters.
"Anyone who is scared away by your revelations is someone you want to send packing," says Dr.
On the other hand, if you've been waiting and he's not quite there yet, it may be time to move on, since the two of you aren't quite in sync.
The point is that rules don't help you figure out the right time to have sex––your own feelings and instincts do, says Dr. Photo: i Stockphoto This one, says Wendy Lyon, Ph D, psychologist and relationship coach, "is an old-fashioned rule that says he should be in charge and be the 'hunter.'" The idea is that if a woman takes the initiative, the man won't feel, well, manly.
Old credos, like waiting a certain number of dates before having sex or insisting that the guy should always pick up the bill, may be officially outmoded, but they still linger in many people's minds. "Because one of these rules might have worked in one situation with one person," says Gary Lewandowski, Jr., Ph D, associate social science professor at Monmouth University in New Jersey—which by no means makes it something that everyone should live by.
Read on for eight dating rules ripe for the breaking.